MATTHEW
11:28-30
I went to prison not too long ago. Actually, I went to speak at a prison.
I should probably clarify that a little. There are a couple of people in our
church who are heavily involved in prison ministry, Sean Reynolds and Katie
Milholland. If you haven’t met them, you need to. I will be talking more about
them this coming Sunday (I hope you will be back). Sean and Katie have a
phenomenal ministry at The Hutchins Unit just down the road off I-20. With the
rare exception, they are there every Thursday to minister to the men who call
Hutchins home. They visit with the men, pray with them, study the Word of God
with them, encourage them, and sincerely listen to them. It is incredible what
they have going there. Many of the inmates refer to Katie as their momma. Many
have asked Sean to walk alongside them as a brother when they get paroled. The
Lord is working mightily through their ministry to the incarcerated.
I was humbled and honored a few months back when Katie asked me to come
speak in the weekly chapel service. I have to be honest when I say I was NOT
prepared for that experience. I have been preaching since I was 15. Crowds
don’t bother me. And I also have to tell you that I LOVE watching TV shows that
involve criminal themes: The First 48, Forensic Files, Lock-Up, etc. There is
just something about watching people solve crimes and run prisons that is
interesting to me. So when I rolled up to Hutchins in my (manly) Honda Civic, I
thought I was prepared. WRONG! Watching prison life from my recliner is one thing.
Walking inside the razor wire is another. It was a very sobering reality.
Please don’t get me wrong, I was blessed to be there. The chapel service
went extraordinarily well and the men were unbelievably gracious and
hospitable. It was a truly life-changing experience for me and I am hopeful to
go back soon. The part that was so hard for me to process was that the men at
Hutchins live in that place EVERY day. That is their “home”...being told what
to wear, when to eat, when to sleep, even how they can walk. Prison is their
life. When I went to visit, I understood I would only be there a few hours. I
cannot imagine that place being my permanent dwelling. Sleeping in a room full
of bunk beds with 40 other people. The toilets and showers out in the open. No
stalls, no curtains. Just you and your naked self in front of God and
everybody. This is their reality. EVERY day. I understand that it was their
choices that landed them there. I get that. Still, I couldn’t help but hurt as
I saw the hopelessness and despair in so many eyes looking back at me.
After I finished preaching, I was able to visit with the inmates for a
good while. One conversation I had that day really stood out to me. I spoke
with a man named “Rob”. He is a little older than me, 37. He told me that for
the past twenty years he has spent way more time on the inside than the
outside. Poor friends and poor choices resulted in him first coming to prison
in his late teens. From there the cycle continued. He has spent the vast
majority of his adult life in prison. As we chatted that day he was asking me
to help him once he gets released. His concern is that he will, once again,
fall back into his old life. But something he said that day hit me hard. Maybe
it wasn’t what he said as much as it was they way he said it:
“Pastor
Hadley, I don’t know how to live as a free man. I’ve been institutionalized so
long, this is all I know. Even little things like going out to a restaurant or
to the movies...I don’t know how to do any of it.”
In that moment it was revealed to me how much being locked up can affect
a person. You don’t just lose years of your life, you lose the ability to
live free. Even when Rob is paroled and walks out of Hutchins as a free
man, the likelihood is that he will not truly feel free. Prison, a place he
once hated, has become his comfort zone. Sadly, he has arrived at the place
where he feels more comfortable being locked up than living outside the walls. “Why would someone want to live as a
prisoner when they could live free?” you may be asking. Funny—I was just
about to ask you the same question.
The truth today is that some of you are Rob. Many of you reading this are
prisoners. No, you don’t have an armed guard escorting you around, and your
“lawn” doesn’t feature a chain linked fence with razor wire at the top. I am
not talking about that kind of incarceration. I am talking to you about the
prison of your past. Some of you reading this right now, your lives are still
being shaped and influenced by events that happened long ago. Your soul is
locked up. Your mind is bound. Your heart is held captive. You live like this
EVERY day...and you have for YEARS. And like Rob, some of you have lived
this way for so long that you don’t know how to live any other way. You are so
used to living as a prisoner, you have given up on the hope of ever being truly
free. You are wishing and waiting, anticipating that day you will be
paroled. Would you believe me if I told you that you already have been?
Casa View has many people who are new to the Christian faith. As a
pastor, I couldn’t be more thrilled by this. So exciting to see so many people
coming to faith in Christ. But in your spiritual infancy, I believe many of you
don’t understand what all became YOURS upon pledging your allegiance to Jesus
Christ. Yes, trusting Christ as your Savior is obviously a decision driven by
the thought of eternity (we all want to end up in heaven when we pass from this
life to the next). Did Jesus come to save you for all eternity? Absolutely! But
the “good news” of the Gospel is that you are not only saved TO your FUTURE,
you are saved FROM your PAST.
So go ahead. Turn around and take a look. What is it that is holding you
captive? In my time as a pastor, I have discovered that many Christians are
incarcerated by two penitentiaries of their past. Let’s take a look at these to
close our time together.
PAST
FAILURES. Do the sins you committed and mistakes you made continue to haunt you?
Does the “new” you look at the “old” you and feel a sickening remorse? The
“repeat all” button selected, your past sins are looping over and over in your
mind, always in HD? My dear friends, can I tell you that if you have received
Christ as Savior that God does not hold your past against you? It was at your
worst that Jesus chose to die for you (see Romans 5:8). Some of you
today are struggling in your faith. You are scared of God. Like a battered
child, you approach Him with anxiety and reluctance. You fear that the Lord has
saved you begrudgingly. Nothing could be further from the truth. God’s motivation
in saving you was simple—He loves you (see John 3:16). Do you believe
that? Do you believe that He loves YOU? The Bible declares that you have
a new life (see 2 Corinthians 5:17)! The old you is DEAD! GONE!
FORGOTTEN! Can I ask you a question—if God is not dwelling on your past, why
are you? You are weary and burdened by something that God has removed from
you. He has canceled your sins (see Colossians 2:14). He has cleansed
you from all unrighteousness (see 1 John 1:9). My brother or
sister...you are FREE. You don’t have to live in the prison of your
failures any longer. Some of you reading this may not be a Christian. You have
never trusted in Jesus Christ. I invite you to ask Him right now to forgive you
of your past and bring you a new life. Let our Lord give you rest today.
PAST
HURTS. One of the hardest questions that I am asked as a pastor is “Why did God let this happen?” What
words can I possibly offer to someone who was abused, abandoned, or betrayed?
Only a few weeks ago I spoke with one of our members who shared with my wife
and me how they were sexually abused for many years as a child—by their father!
This life is filled with so much heartache and pain. I have often been awakened
in the night by my phone buzzing on the night stand. Another student reaching
out for help, trying to make sense of the pain they have gone through. Can I be
super honest? I don’t have an answer
for all the questions that are brought to me. Some questions are too deep for
that. I think, at times, to intellectualize someone’s pain is to actually
insult them. There are some mysteries that will simply remain unsolved on this
side of heaven. But what I can tell you is what I have personally learned on my
own journey. I have spoken at times about the pain of my childhood. Those were
some tough years back then. I used to not understand why God allowed those
things to happen. I questioned His sovereignty and His goodness. But today,
thankfully, I am at a place where I no longer do that. I know that those things
I went through have made me who I am. The wounding was the preparation God used
to shape me and mold me for my destiny as a pastor. My passion for people, my
deep love for the hurting—they all came out of that childhood season of pain
and suffering. Had I not experienced those things I honestly don’t know that I
would be doing what I am today. So you see it wasn’t that God wasn’t good back
then, I just didn’t see what He saw. There was a purpose in my pain. It wasn’t
in vain. I saw a t-shirt once that said “God never wastes a hurt.” I believe
that. I don’t know why you went through what you did. But I know that it wasn’t
wasted. God promises us in His Word that everything in our life will work for
good (see Romans 8:28). He invites us in to be held and to be healed. His
love is sweetest to those who are hurting. The broken are privileged to an
uncommon intimacy. The devil will lie to you and tell you that you are too
messed up to be normal. Too scarred to ever feel again. That God has a plan for
some people, but you are damaged goods. Don’t believe him for a second. Don’t
live in that prison any longer. Walk out of that cell and live the life Jesus
died to give you. Call on His name today. May you know the sweetness of being
yoked to Him.
John
8:36—So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
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